Just Fine

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I sit here thinking about what to write but the truth is I have nothing to say and everything to think of. There’s a lot to plan, but I’m refusing to for the first time in my life and surprisingly it’s not because I’m procrastinating, but because I’m fine. And I don’t mean fine in the sense that I’m okay, but that I’m content. I feel content about where I am and about the fact that the road ahead is paved with question marks I cannot answer and don’t need to. I was so scared having to answer the much feared “what’s next?” questions and to my surprise felt pleasure in answering that I truly had no clue. I’ve finally given in to just being and have let myself be just fine for the first time in years. It’s all going to come together as it has to as long as I know deep down what I want - and that I do.

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Jil Carrara